5 Tips for Mindful Phone Use
I was a sophomore in high school when 9/11 happened. Thankfully the only phone I had access to was a landline, social media didn’t exist, the Internet wasn’t where we got our news, and I had parents who forced me to turn off the news.
In November of 2020, my smart phone told me that my screen time was up significantly during the week of the election.
And now, we are facing monumental Supreme Court decisions, continued mass shootings, a neverending pandemic, an eminent recession, wars around the world, and we have constant access to all of it.
While staying educated is important, finding the balance between being informed and overconsuming is crucial to our mental health. The line is often fine and it is not the same for everyone. Knowing where that line is and maintaining it require self-awareness and intentionality.
Whether you find yourself needing to cut back on your phone use to preserve your mental health or you simply desire a more intentional relationship with technology, try these five tips to help decrease mindless phone use:
Read a book.
On the weeks when I’m engaged in a good book, I am much less inclined to spend my free time browsing social media. I remember loving to read as a kid, but somewhere along the path of becoming an adult, I stopped reading for fun. Even if you too have gone a long time without reading, try it.
Tips on picking up reading again (or for the first time):
Try out different types of books to see what you like. The style of book you want may also depend upon your mood. Sometimes I want “self help” or parenting books, other times I want memoirs. Sometimes I want mysteries, and other times I want trivial fiction. Get to know yourself without judgment. Reading is reading is reading. And that also means the medium through which you read–audiobook, ebook, novel, magazine.
Read differently depending upon your environment. I listen to audiobooks while driving solo, doing laundry, or washing dishes. I read hardcopy books when I want to highlight the book, if the book is particularly meaningful to me, or if I’m sitting outside reading with my children. I read on my kindle when putting my children to sleep at night and when I’m out and about and want to bring a book with me.
Utilize the library. Libraries are incredible resources. Many libraries no longer charge late fees, and most, if not all, have librarians who will happily help you find books to read. You can also check out ebooks and audiobooks with your library card and have them delivered directly to your phone or ereader.
Leave your phone behind.
The out of sight, out of mind principle really works. Often I grab my phone because it’s there. Leaving your phone away from you requires you to be more intentional in your use. If you want it, you have to go get it. Creating physical, and consequently mental, space between you and your phone, helps break the, often unconscious, urge to pick it up.
Find something to do with your hands
Have you ever found yourself getting your picture taken and you feel like your arms are this awkward extension of your body that you have no idea what to do with? Sometimes we just need something for our hands to do. Many adults and children actually learn better when their hands are busy. Sometimes we really do want to listen to the person we are with or be present with the world around us, but we grab our phones simply to occupy our hands. Try giving yourself something else to manipulate.
Crocheting, knitting, painting, drawing, woodworking, or even shuffling a deck of cards can all help give your hands something to do so that your mind is free to observe and absorb the world around it. This is especially helpful in practicing parenting presence. We tend to unintentionally tell our children that we don’t value what they have to share with us by getting lost in our phones in their presence. When your hands are busy, you won’t be as tempted to pick up your phone, which benefits you and them.
Rearrange the apps on your screen
As much as I love having my apps organized so that I don’t have to think about where they are, I regularly move my Instagram app in order to bring intention back to my phone use. Social media apps are one of the biggest time sucks, and they are purposefully addictive. Notice your phone use for a day. How many times do you open your phone and click into your go to social media app (e.g., Reddit, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook) without even intending to? If you’re anything like me, it’s probably a lot.
When you rearrange your apps, moving the ones that you open without thought, you bring intention into your action. You slow the process down enough for your brain to step in and actively think, creating the space for you to make an intentional decision rather than simply operating on autopilot. Sometimes we just need a little assistance to break a habit.
Set a “screen time” goal
If you have an iPhone you probably get the weekly “screen time hours” notification. I am always blown away by how much time I use my phone even when I am trying to limit my use. On the weeks when I’m not as intentional, the number is even higher.
Think about how often you “need” to use your phone and how often you want to use it, and then set a realistic goal for yourself. For me, that goal is under three hours. For you it might be more or less–the number doesn’t matter, but choose a goal that is balanced between aspirational and attainable. Also, keeping track of this time gives you an opportunity to practice mindful reflection. Was your number higher or lower than normal this week? Why? What was going on for you? Notice without judgment, but rather with a sense of curiosity, using it as a learning tool on your process of self-discovery and self-awareness.
The Takeaway
Phones aren’t going anywhere. They are our maps, our cameras, and our connection to the world. They provide us with news and entertainment. They allow us to stay in touch with loved ones both near and far away. They have many benefits and enhance our lives in numerous ways. At the same time, when our usage is left unchecked, screens can become addictive and harmful to our mental, emotional, and physical health. Practicing mindful engagement with this technology can help us reap the benefits of it, without detrimental effects we want to avoid.
Share which tip you found most helpful and plan to implement and/or what others ways you practice intentional phone use.
