Parenting in the Information Age: Why You Should Ignore My Advice
I am about to give you some advice, and I think you should ignore it.
We live in an incredible time. We have unlimited access to information at our fingertips. When my children ask me a question, I can look up the answer immediately. When I need a recipe, I can find hundreds in a matter of seconds. When I am looking for parenting advice, there are thousands of people ready and eager to supply it.
I often think about our parents’ generation, and the generations before that. How did they get by without this access to information? Or maybe the better question is, how do we get by with it?
“We have so many voices telling us the ‘right’ way to parent that we are left feeling confused, overwhelmed, and filled with guilt.”
Certainly we benefit from having volumes of knowledge in our hands, but also think we suffer. Without the Internet to rely on, our parents were forced to trust their own judgment or rely on the guidance of a handful of trusted advisors. Yet we have so many voices telling us the “right” way to parent that we are left feeling confused, overwhelmed, and filled with guilt.
So how can we make the most of this incredible access to information without falling victim to the voices that tell us we aren’t living up?
Intentionally choose who you follow.
Take a look at who you follow and what you read regularly. When you scroll through your Instagram feed, do you feel uplifted or defeated? When you read a blog post, does it foster a sense of well-being or leave you feeling lacking? When you browse Pinterest, do you gain inspiration or feel less than?
If the latter is true, unfollow, unsubscribe, and step away. Even if those you are following are friends, give yourself permission to unapologetically prioritize your mental health.
The same is true of in-person relationships. Think about who you seek expertise from and how their input makes you feel. And while you can’t always determine who offers their opinion, you can commit to only allowing certain voices to have authority and occupy mental space in your life.
Monitor the amount of information you consume.
Just as you should monitor the type of information you consume, monitor the amount of information you consume. No matter how helpful a “mom tips” page is, sometimes the tenth tip on “toddler educational activities” is one too many. Allow yourself to close the app and pick up a book. Go outside, do something you enjoy, or call a friend who can support you in your goal of consuming less.
Recognize signs of information overload.
I do not think that completely withdrawing from all social media is the answer, but I do think we must be cognizant of signs that we’ve had too much.
For me it most often manifests in anxiety. I start to question my decisions and worry that I’m not doing “enough” or am failing my children somehow. And it doesn’t just happen online. While I enjoy reading parenting books, sometimes I have to set them down and choose a fun fiction read. We all have personal warning signs that cue us to step back and turn inward rather than outward. Learn what your signs are, and listen to them.
Choose a personal mantra that uplifts you.
Let your own voice be the loudest voice. It can help to have a personal mantra ready to turn to when you begin to doubt yourself. Write your mantra and put it somewhere you can see it regularly to remind yourself of your worth.
Mantra examples:
I trust myself.
I am a good parent.
I know my children best.
I don’t have to agree with everything I read.
I keep what works and release what doesn’t.
“Let your own voice be the loudest voice.”
When all else fails, remember that you are enough. There is never only one “right” way to do anything. The picture perfect lives that we see regularly only tell part of the story, and no one has all the answers. Sometimes the best thing we can do is pretend that we’re from a past generation and intentionally limit the incoming noise. In doing so, we can begin to rely on our own intuition and grow our personal wisdom.
Share your favorite mantra or your experience living in the Information Age in the comments.
