Living Intentionally: Creating a Life Aligned With Your Values
“In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life”
-Mumford and Sons
I remember hearing this song lyric when my firstborn was an infant. “Where you invest your love, you invest your life.” So simple, and yet so profound. Our lives are made of moments. Choice after choice we create them. Obviously not everything is in our control, but each day we make countless decisions and each decision sets into motion events that, when compiled, form our lives.
It’s easy to dismiss one action here or there. I really do care about the Earth. I’m passionate about treating our planet with kindness and acting in ways that help, not harm her. And yet, how many times have my children pointed out litter and I’ve decided that it was too gross for me to pick up and bring home to properly dispose of? A lot.
“How we live demonstrates what we value over anything we say, think, or feel.”
The lives we lead and the choices that we make, illustrate our true values. I can say and believe that I care about the environment, but do my day to day actions support that claim? Similarly, I can long for a healthy work life balance, but if my actions don’t uphold that goal, then the life that I’m creating and living is inconsistent with what I purport to value.
When our actions don’t align with what we claim to prioritize and value, we either:
Don’t really hold that value as a priority, or
Experience a feeling of dissonance.
When experienced repeatedly over time, this discord can create internal strife within our lives. We feel uneasy when our actions are incongruent with what we value. But, to live lives that feel harmonious, we must first know what matters most to us.
Ask yourself:
What do I want to prioritize?
What matters most to me?
What are my values?
At the end of my life, what do I want people to remember about me?
What brings me joy?
What brings me peace?
What feelings do I want more of in my life?
What actions cultivate those feelings?
Is there anything that doesn’t align with my values?
Can I remove those things from my life?
How we live demonstrates what we value over anything we say, think, or feel. Sometimes it’s hard to come to grips with this idea, but if our actions and beliefs are continually misaligned, we must either:
Change our actions, or
Accept that our values may have shifted over time or maybe were never held as deeply as we thought they were.
Our priorities and values can shift overtime, so it helps to regularly reassess whether or not our lives are mirroring what we want them to. When we realize that our actions are not consistent with what value, we must be intentional about changing our behaviors. Having a firm grasp on what we want to prioritize allows us to make intentional decisions and act in ways that facilitate more harmony in our days, and ultimately in our lives, but knowledge without action is insufficient.
“Having a firm grasp on what we want to prioritize allows us to make intentional decisions and act in ways that facilitate more harmony in our days.”
We choose the lives we live by making intentional decisions that support our values. Where we invest our love, we invest our lives. Where we invest our time, we invest our lives. Each purposeful action we make that aligns with our values propels us into a life lived with intention—and ultimately creates a life that fulfills us, brings us joy, and feels true to who we are and who we want to be.
The Takeaway
When our day to day choices are misaligned with our values, we experience uneasiness. Sometimes we don’t even know what feels off, but when the way we are living doesn’t accurately represent our priorities, we are left feeling stressed, exhausted, and unhappy. Knowing what matters most to us helps us make decisions that create congruence in our lives and leave us feeling more content and fulfilled.
What values drive your life? Are there any that have changed over time?
